The Beauty of Kindness

Plato once said, “Be kind for everyone you meet, is fighting a hard battle.”  I love quotes, but by far, this has always been my favorite.  From the outside I am to assume that I look relatively happy.  I smile quite often, I laugh regularly, I take the time to do my hair and makeup, and on that rare occasion, you may even find that I’ve thrown together an acceptable outfit to wear for the day.  Realistically, I know that most people who meet me have no idea what things are really like for me in my daily life.  Nobody knows how often I still cry because I miss my father, no one knows that I still wonder if my husband left me because I wasn’t pretty enough,  and those that don’t know me, would never know that I battle with an eating disorder in my head every single day.  It doesn’t mean that I’m crazy – well, maybe just a little, it just means that we’re all fighting our own battles and nothing on the inside is really what it appears on the outside.
This week my heart broke in so many ways for those around me.  It began with Donald, the shoe shine guy at my office, who had to have his leg amputated.  Donald is a kind and loving man.  I could see that just by looking at him.  I would always joke with him that he should start a pedicure service and ditch the shoe shining business.  I guaranteed the pedicure business to be a much more lucrative endeavor.  He actually thought about it, but the problem you could see with Donald was that Donald had given up on life and on himself a long time ago.  I knew before anyone told me, the reason Donald lost his leg was because of Diabetes.  This was not a man who was taking good care of himself. 
Then there’s my best-friend who is raising two little girls – a three year old (Natty) and a one year old (Livi) .  At the same time as raising two daughters, she is also struggling to grieve the loss of her mother who is deteriorating from Alzheimer’s.  The other day my friend cried so hard, she had to stick a towel in her mouth to keep her husband and daughters from hearing her cry “yet again".  She takes a shower, wipes up her tears, puts a smile on her face, and goes on about her day.
My other dear friend has spent 11 days away from her husband while he’s been at the USC Medical Center recovering from surgery last week.  This is one of several emergency surgeries that he’s had in the last year and a half after battling with colon cancer the year prior.  In the meantime, she lost her own mother a year ago to lung cancer, and she is raising a three year old daughter.  As if being a mommy wasn’t already the toughest job in the world.  Purple Heart of Honor goes to this gal! 
My point in all of this isn’t to bring everyone down.  That’s not my point at all.  Life is full of both, tragedies and triumphs.  Truth be told, it is both the tragedies and the triumphs that shape who we truly are.  But on our road to discovery or on our journey as many may call it, it is imperative that we have one another to cheer us on.  A perfect analogy was last night at the gym when I was faced with a new challenge and just as I wanted to quit, one of the trainers chimed in and said, “Come on Farrah, you can do it!”  I know it sounds so cliché, but just that little ounce of encouragement took me further than I was capable of taking myself in that particular moment.  This is how life works my friends; we all need one another.   You never know when your smile, your kind words, or your lending ear can change someone’s day or maybe even their life. 
We get so afraid to take chances. We have become so afraid to become vulnerable with people we don’t know or even with people we do know.  The one reason I was a great teacher was because I was vulnerable with my students.  I was honest and I was genuine.  We’ve become a society that is so guarded with our feelings.  Why is that?  When I reach out to others, I always get back way more than I’ve ever given to that person.  Life is a gift; it’s a gift to be shared. 
Life will always be full of hard times.  There’s no getting through life without tragedy, but out of tragedy comes a love and a bond from those who have struggled right along with us.  Look at those who suffered on 9-11, as tragic as that day was; the country was truly united.  I’ve seen more kindness and laughter surrounding Donald (aka – the shoe shine guy) in the past week than I’ve seen around him in two years.  But, why does it have to take a tragedy to get there?  Can’t we be kind, be generous, laugh with strangers, and be compassionate knowing that underneath that smile, we’re all facing our own daily battles? 
If you took the time to read through my entire blah, blah, blog, thanks!  Thanks for caring and I hope you’ll pass along your generosity to someone who needs it because, “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” – Leo Buscaglia

Stay Beautiful!  

xoxo...